((((Okie))) No borrowing to it, take take take what you need.
You know, I think every single human on earth questions their reasons for living or doing what they are... perhaps it's what causes people to search for the greater good in the world?
The ability to rise above our circumstances and realize that though we are small, and feel insignificant, we can look at what ails us and say that
that is what is insignificant and small, not us!
Things change. Everything changes. We can orchestrate some of that change, and when we don't get the whole job done, we get to try to change it more, and again. Even our whole body changes, every 7 years at least, the body we have is totally different in cells than it was...

mine keeps looking pretty much the same, but the experts tell us we can get healthier as we age...and that we don't even have to age like we do... but we have to enact the change.
Change is difficult for most people. I don't mind it except I tend to forget easily some times and if something's changed... or, or is that part of learning new?
Anyway... hang in there okiedokie, things won't always be how they feel tonight. Cling to that.