Well... this is an interesting question. I guess I'd have to say it's my wife. She has no one but me, as I have no one but her. On the other hand, I've made two serious bids so far to end my life. And the fact that my wife would have been left alone didn't stop me either of those times. So I don't know.

To some extent I think it has to do with opportunity. Realistically I'm not capable to doing something violent to myself & I don't have enough pills stored up anymore to do the job. So, in a sense, it's just easier to keep going than it is to try to arrange an exit. Fortunately for me, I'm an older person. So I probably don't have all that many years left to trudge through anyway. And in the meantime, I pursue a spiritual practice that buoys me as well, although I don't believe in any kind of life after death. So I'm not doing it in an effort to get to some kind of heaven. For me it's simply a way of coping from one day to the next.