I don't know how concrete it is, but one reason I know for sure; I truly feel like their's something evil inside of me. I've never said it out loud or wrote it down before now, but I truly feel like there's something sinister inside of me. Like I'm a spawn of something not human (granted, I have paranoia and psychotic features that could be playing into this). Maybe they were trying to beat it out of me, figuratively and literally trying to beat the evil out.
Other reasons: When I cried, it was a pathetic attempt to achieve their sympathy. I need to be ashamed because I committed acts worth that type of punishment in the first place.

Reasons why they're not true: Unknown. I don't know how they couldn't be true. I'm so weak and stupid I can't find a single reason why these words aren't true.

I appreciate what you're doing. I must admit my fear; my fear that I'm too far gone.