Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas
I don't know how concrete it is, but one reason I know for sure; I truly feel like their's something evil inside of me. I've never said it out loud or wrote it down before now, but I truly feel like there's something sinister inside of me. Like I'm a spawn of something not human (granted, I have paranoia and psychotic features that could be playing into this). Maybe they were trying to beat it out of me, figuratively and literally trying to beat the evil out.
Other reasons: When I cried, it was a pathetic attempt to achieve their sympathy. I need to be ashamed because I committed acts worth that type of punishment in the first place.
Reasons why they're not true: Unknown. I don't know how they couldn't be true. I'm so weak and stupid I can't find a single reason why these words aren't true.
I appreciate what you're doing. I must admit my fear; my fear that I'm too far gone.
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I believe everyone in this world (except little children) has done something they have regretted--that's why learning to forgive ourselves and others is so important. You have made so many loving gestures towards me and others. I have seen your good side. It is within you and all of us; we all have to try to cultivate that side of ourselves to become a better people. Not perfect, just better. Don't be ashamed--you are suffering from trauma that is mostly not your fault. Keep trying to overcome it. I know your trauma was extreme. You have to climb Mount Everest while my struggle is more like a tiny hill. Life is not fair but you have so much to offer. Your writing is fantastic. You are extremely caring--it is probably the deep caring part of you that, in part, makes you vulnerable. But it is also makes you strong and is why so many of us have fallen in love with your spirit, POV and really do accept you.....
