I denied for years. I was stable for six years treatment-free so obviously I thought it was all ********. Then symptoms came back but I still thought it was just me and I wasn't trying hard enough to beat it on my own. It wasn't until I had a psychotic episode all on my own - no meds to blame it on - that I finally accepted it. Now I've found a good med combo and I am trying desperately to stay on it despite losing my insurance on June 30. I don't want to go back to where I was. I accept that I will be on meds for the rest of my life. I really don't care. I'm a nonfunctional wreck without them.