let me tell you a story.... back in 2011 NY legalized same sex marriage. my partner and I have been looking forwards to this day for a very long time. We called our friends and family and said "we're getting married this weekend".

I had/ have this very needy friend, and I mean extremely needy. She had abandonment issues in her life, and latched on to friends to the extreme and if a friend did not call her back right away, email right away, text right away or showed any signs of not having time for them or what have you, threats of suicide, going away, never speaking to you again you name it complete with adding guilt tripping. This person used to purposely only has one friend in their life at a time that she feels safe with. At that moment that one friend was me. Now there I was telling this person Im getting married.

I could just smell the brain smoke through the phone....she's leaving me, she doesnt have time for me, we cant have our long talks anymore, no more going places together...

This friend worked herself into a panic and the wedding hadnt even happened yet. We were still on the initial phone call of my letting her know I was getting married. at that moment I could not worry about this woman's suicide threats, self injury threats, panic mode and perceived fears of being all alone and that I would not have the time for her.

I put it very bluntly... Im sorry but Im not buying your threats of suicide, threats of self harm, threats of going away, threats of never speaking to me again. Those are all your own choices to make and you will have to deal with the fall out from your own choices. You want to live your life guilt tripping your friends thats up to you. ....Or.... you can help me plan my wedding, Everyone that wants to be part of helping my love and I get married are meeting at 6 pm at Denny's, casual dress and dont worry about the check its on us.

When my love and I got to Denny's there she was. I pulled her aside and said "are you ready?" she smiled said "you bet".

we all had a great evening together. This friend soon learned my getting married did not mean I would not have time for her, that my getting married did not mean she had to give me up as a friend she could confide in, depend upon, My getting married did not mean our long conversations had to end.

She learned that by my getting married not only did she have me for a friend, but she also had the love of my life as a friend. She learned that I still had all the time in the world for her, there was enough love in my heart for both my wife and time and love for her. she learned that by being my friend she was always invited to my dinner parties, playing cards and board games get together's, birthday parties, pool parties, you name it just like before and then some because now we didn't just celebrate one birthday a year (mine) we now had two (mine and my wife's)... there were plenty of opportunities for late night talks for hours....

my point is.... just because someone else is making a life changing decision like getting married does not mean they have no time for you any more, it doesnt mean that your's and their friendship is over. it just means what it is your friend is in love and marrying this person that they love.

suggestion maybe you can ask your friend if there is anything you can do to help with the wedding and reception plans, this way you can spend some time with them and help out at the same time and maybe even make some more friends that are in this persons life besides you. this way too you and this friend can talk about what happens after the wedding in regards to your friendship and long conversations. Maybe you can spend some time with the love of this friends live to get to know them too.