I've had social anxiety since long ago.And it's just tiring.

I still feel intimated talking to popular girls (i am a girl) and it's upsetting since they don't mean any harm. I'm just tired of my own feeling, panicking (freezing) and stressing all the time also overthinking about every little social interactions with them.

I just wanna have a group of normal girl friends. It's tired to be independent and having to be the 'one of the guys' kind of girl all the time. I want to be able to befriends with girls and not always be intimidated just by talking with them. I don't want to always think of them as a 'soft' 'hot headed' creatures. It's just hard to get that mindset out of my head and I'm always tired of thinking I'd always break them and make them angry. I just don't want to be hated.