If I postpone I think I'll lose him.... He is older than me and in another country if you like he is about 9 hours away from me if not more. We have our fetish that's a common ground. He knows sex is off the table however when I'm manic I become "possessed" for sex. I feel like I'm kinda losing control but unsure how much. I'm in a sticky predicament as I have no idea what's going on I my head.