Hi Brownhat

First of all, I'm sorry you've had a tough day, I hope today is a little better??

And........while you're right, the improvement is very, very likely down to the fact you're taking the medication.........it still sounds to me that you're being way too tough on yourself!! So let's see about you giving yourself a bit more of a chance, hey?

Comparitively speaking it's not that long since you've started on the med so it will now be starting properly kicking in, so it is going to be giving you chances to be hitting more of your potentials.........the one's depression stole from you...........

And that's going to include developing more coping strategies/skills/perspectives when things are hard, because there can still sometimes be hard days on/despite meds...........but hopefully those hard days will still be better than how they were............and the more you practise those skills/perspectives and put those into practise.........that is going to be you, not the meds, but you who is doing that.........and you who will be/is deserving of all of the credit.
Right now the meds are just moreso allowing you to be more you........the you that was underneath the depression, and opening the doors for you to discover/rediscover some of those skills.......so I wouldn't say it was fake..........
And if there's a point where the meds were to stop.........then you are going to still have some of those skills/perspectives "under your belt"...........one's which could maybe help you should there be "dark days"...........
But, let's see how it goes, hey? Maybe there will be an extension or an alternative when this trial stops.........but either way........right now I'm glad that you're startig to feel the you underneath the depression, the you that you deserve to be..........and here's to the meds helping you on your journey in moving away from..........



Alison