Warning - I'm going to use the "m" word... haha Masturbation is not the terrible thing that people want to make it. It's not as gratifying as "the real thing" but it can help. Also, having an extra-marital affair is never a good idea, and "hooking up" with a stranger has so many dangers associated with it that it should not even be an option! I strongly recommend that you don't do that! If I could say it any more strongly, I would, but I don't want to appear to be yelling... but don't even consider doing that.

Next, I would recommend marriage counseling. Seeking help in marriage is nothing to be ashamed of, and can be very beneficial. None of us is perfect, and none of us has all the answers to the questions we have. Professional counselors have studied for many years to be able to guide us through all the difficulties that come with two people living their lives as one. No two people are alike, so merging two lives together will always (ALWAYS) bring difficulties that need to be met with honesty, and overcome, in order to have a happy life together. There will always be "give and take" in a relationship, and sexuality is one of the ares that can be very different between two people, and can often be one of those areas where we need the most help, but unfortunately, one of those areas that we find difficult to discuss with others - even our own spouses, not to mention a counselor. But help is out there, definitely seek it out! You CAN get through this, and we're all here to support you, and encourage you to make good decisions! Reach out to those on here whom you feel comfortable with.