I get it. I definitely felt that way after my psychotic break and subsequent depression. Some of it was med induced I think; I was on risperdal which made it hard for me to experience any emotion, good or bad. Also, I've heard that having a manic break is like having a concussion, it takes a while for things to get back to normal. Keep trying and talk to your pdoc about your symptoms. I still feel that the experience changed me, but I don't think people can tell from the outside. While I'm different I have a greater acceptance of my illness and am back to being relatively comfortable socializing (I'm naturally introverted so I never liked it much in the first place).