I luv how you call it , medicine bingo', because it's true! It is trial and error at first to find the right med combo, and I say hang in there and keep taking your meds and seeing your treatment team. It seems once we hit our working doses....things got better and bad thoughts went away.

As far as mom goes....would you think not knowing what is going on may cause more anxiety? I would think so. I'd tell her why but reassure her that it's going to be all right.

How do you explain disappearing fir 2 weeks under commitment for sui watch? At least that's what I went through. Better to call a crisis center/team about these thoughts and they then can guide you to proper treatment approach.

Until then...I practice distraction where I if I find myself in that frame of mind...I go out for acwalk to breathe fresh air. I find nature very soothing...in the city, too. I just watch the bird and squierrks, flowers...

Hang in ther!