I never had this problem because my looks were average in high school and I tried to only associate with the nicest people. My friend groups were quite small. I also think our group did not deal with much drama because we did not drink or smoke weed and this was what many of the popular kids in high school did. It seemed like sometimes bullying incidents occurred at parties from some of the stories I heard.

However, my sister was considered a beauty in high school (some of it was just that she had a good sense of fashion, spent hours in the bathroom on hair and makeup, a size 0, etc.) and was very popular while still being a very kind person. There was always a girl giving her grief. It almost always was because she was dating a boy that these mean girls thought they could get. We were in a Mormon dominated small town and we weren't Mormon so a few of the Mormon girls (I have nothing against Mormon girls, some of my friends were Mormon) would think it was OK to threaten her whenever she took an eligible Mormon boy off the market. (They threatened to beat her up on more than one occassion and though she is athletic, she only weighed 95 pounds.) It was jealousy and I suppose some girls thought they might have a chance if they could get rid of her somehow. Seemed like an immature, silly concept to me. I don't get it. I never envied popularity--it just brings trouble.

As an adult, most of the places I worked were free from bullying (the adults). There was one exception--while working on an AT & T project at a call center, their were a couple of younger girls (20s) that bullied this other younger girl (only 19) because she was homeschooled and naive about life (but really sweet). When I stood up for the girl on a regular basis it caused a terrible commotion. Unfortunately, when we were called into HR--though the girl was definitely being bullied she said she wasn't so I was forced to walk away from my role protecting her. Perhaps she needed to be accepted by people her age--I was in my 40s at the time. She would bring these bullies all kinds of home cooked treats--they did absolutely nothing for her except stop being mean when she gave them free stuff. After that, I saw her continue to be bullied but had to bite my tongue (I was not in a supervisory role at this job). Boy, did I dislike that job. I think those girls acted this way because it made them feel superior and more powerful somehow. Usually my stats were good but when they were only average one month, one of those girls said, "So ______(my name) isn't so perfect after all," so I could hear. Did she think I would care? That that would make me feel bad? I pretended not to hear her comment. Instead I thought to myself that my presence must have really bothered her but I did not care about her at all.....

I think when you are a woman, you are much more likely to be bullied by a woman than a man. My son once said men sometimes bully men (in a competitive kind of way--anything to find an edge--some of it is about "winning"). He also says that most men give girls more "slack" than they do men.