That is certainly a huge blow to the life that you thought you were living. Subconscious motivations to halt being an image of what you once were seems based upon the traumatic nature of this experience. It could be a way of trying to prevent this from happening again, understandable and a below the conscious level reaction. Feeling like a shell sounds like depression. Considering your situation, of course you're going through a myriad of feelings. It's devastating.