I'm sorry this illness has impacted your life so much. I began to have bipolar symptoms at age 11, so I feel like it's stolen some of my childhood and all of my adulthood so far. I suppose I was initially a happy and carefree child. I was depressed and isolated as an adolescent and my family mocked my suffering. As an adult I am even worse. I have somehow managed to make it through undergrad and graduate school while experiencing some severe episodes. Yet I have no friends and I am plagued by elevated mood states and psychosis. I fear my condition will worsen and relying on my strengths will no longer be effective. Fortunately my family became supportive once I was hospitalized and they realized how serious my mental illness is.