I'm sure you've heard this before...

I knew he was an alcoholic when I met him. In fact, I felt an overwhelming need to help in any way I could. I was so worried he was in a spiral of depression and alcoholism when we met. He is resistant to formal help/rehab/he's very guarded about his situation. I don't even blame him.

I've accepted that the love of my life has an active drinking problem. I just want to know, from anyone who suffers with alcoholism....what do you need most from your partner when trying to live your life? What things would be helpful and not hurtful. Forcing someone to change is really damaging, I've found, and that is not my goal. I just want to be a good wife to someone who is clearly suffering.

I'm just looking for ideas and suggestions. I want to spend my life with him, and although at times it's scary, embarrassing, and I get angry, he is too precious to live without.

So, if you feel like sharing, I would like to know what someone with alcoholism finds important in partnership. Just let me know if you have any feedback. I don't care if you've recovered, if you're working the steps, if you relapse, or if you have no desire to change. I just want to hear it from the real experts, and not a mental health professional....who are usually the people I count on to guide me.

I'm trying to not judge, and to listen.....but there must be more to it than that.

I would love to hear from any of you.

Sincerely,

Marilyn