Hey Marilyn,

I am an alcoholic with a few years of recovery. ((Hugs)) I feel for you - you are in a tough spot. Does he get angry when you subtly try to present the idea that he has a problem? It is hard for me to know what your communication dynamics are like.

If you can, just have him complete the CAGE Assessment - it's 4 questions that are a fast way to indicate a problem. For me, the active alcoholism made me so angry. I mean deep rage in me that I would not listen to reason. I had to lose a LOT until I got very expensive wisdom - career, freedom, etc.

It is very hard to balance between love and support and straight up enabling. Do you have any lines in the sand in your mind for his behavior? ie Abuse, etc - that you have drawn - that might be healthy for you. Do you have a bottom line - ie a breaking point where he would have to pay the price of losing your love and support in his life - probably also healthy to have and communicate with him.

I am a big proponent of just being honest, like linking him to your post. You should not be afraid of your spouses reaction to your true feelings.

Message me as needed. Hang in there - it's def a hard struggle.

moogs