how does it look? i mean when you goin on about your buisnes and next thing you know you switched and sittin back not realizing you switched and oblivious to d.i.d. and bein in denial about it, dont it gotta look weird and feel weird? like how do people be in denial for so long about it?
i just feeling like its impossible for me to have something like that because i would known by now.. but then i think about how strange i feel all the time and think maybe its just whats goin on with me too, but i dunno because i always feel strange..

i just don't feel like im ever on the same track...
like somethings wrong with my brain, like its not normal...
i can remember asking questions to everyone about how they experience things when i was a kid, they would tell me things like " you just think too much" and "dont worry about it" ect.
i can remember experiencing depersonalization-derealization when i was 3-4... but i dont really have any memories.. i just remember turning around and feeling like the world was fake and everyone in it were fakes, wondering if they could see or if they were real ... i dunno what happened after that cause it all goes black.. but thats how all my memories are, how everyday of my life is..
i go through moment to moment with black spots, moments that are missing, its just so much that no one believes me... my dad says things like "you can't be that bad" and my doctors look at me like im crazy, which i know i am and thats why im going to see them...

im just having a really hard time... i went out for the weekend and it was really hard... i was fine for the first half of the first day... then i started getting overwhelmed...

i cant live like this much longer... somethings gotta change...