I feel for you. I was a caregiver for my mom (a part emerged to handle that), but now that she's in a nursing home I can't bear to go see her. My family, except maybe my younger sister, has no idea what my mom was like when no one else was around. Going to see her is just too hard, but I know eventually we'll have to do our daughterly duty. At least one of us loves her. Some are afraid and others angry or indifferent. Maybe my T can help me get ready for a visit that doesn't cause too much fallout, but I can't see how that would work right now.