Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
Not to derail, but that's interesting that you say I love you is not for the recipient, but for you. Recently, my therapist said I care about you and I said thank you back to her. It just fit to honor that statement of hers. Maybe that's what your therapist is doing, especially considering the constraints of this very strange therapist/client relationship?
Or is the truer statement, I want you to love me? If so, then thank you as a reply would hurt.
I can be so concrete as to be obtuse, so now I am thinking the subtext of your statement is more of that last kind, in which case, can you tell him that instead of the other?
Sorry if I'm overstepping.
Guess I better say something to my therapist here:
Dear T,
I just want to whine and cry and cry and whine for days on end. Also, I would like a donut.
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You're not overstepping ruh roh. It's interesting to consider (and frankly a nice distraction for me right now).
I don't think that the subtext to me telling him I love him is that I want him to love me (although as a side, I do want him to love me and I have told him so).
I think I am saying "I love you" for me, in the sense that I get pleasure and security from being able to express those feelings freely and without fear of rejection, which is rewriting the scripts of my childhood.
His response didn't really hurt, it just misses the point of the communication and feels a bit jarring. Does that make sense?
I appreciate your taking the time to help me consider this, as I've learned something about myself!