I tried dieting the "right" way. Joined the club went to the weekly weigh ins and was losing weight....then it hit me....this was so much quicker when I would just pop 20 laxatives or just throw up after meals....maybe then I can be the skinny, hot, sexy women that men want....so that is what I started doing. With that comes the usual, blood in the vomit, bloody noses, doubled over in stomach pain....but BOOM I lost weight. AMAZING.....I want to keep going....

Then "Grace" and I made a pact, it was we couldn't do anything to harm ourselves without talking to each other first, which for me included doing this....you mean I have to eat the food and let it digest and just watch myself grow.....NOOOOOO

I have been staying strong b/c of "Grace" but let me just tell you, I just think how easy it could be to just let it all go.

Maybe now you can see why I call her my "Grace" b/c she is my Saving Grace.

However, what do I do about the urges and passing up all the stuff that I do just b/c I don't want to taste it to enjoy it and then just binge......