Hello there!

I would put this in the Spirituality section but I want to hear from my bipolar friends for this. I have been struggling with my spirituality lately because I don't know if it is mania or a genuine spiritual experience.

All the times I have been in psychosis it has been spiritually related. I feel a strong connection to God and my holy self and my soul. It is an incredibly moving experience, but it goes TOO far and I end up in the hospital, (I actually think God and Jesus are speaking to me).

Well anyway, my sister and I have started going to Church to try and find our way. We are not very religious but we just want to be a part of something moving as I am struggling to find my faith again. The problem is I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I am stable even though I still have highs and lows, but I don't feel any connection to my soul and my spirituality is very important to me. So how do you know if it's spiritual and NOT mania? How do you know if your connection to your higher self is just not you being manic? I want to FEEL faith again so desperately but I don't feel anything. It breaks my heart, because I feel like I no longer have a soul.

Thoughts?