ive only ever been to church once in memory, it went terrible. (my fault as well. i was an athiest at the time and my family dragged me so i rebelled by wearing a Marilyn Manson tshirt...you can imagine the rest)

see, im not stupid or immature enough to do that now and im also not an athiest. i guess im an agnostic. still looking.

BUT

while i'd never dare walk in to a religious gathering with Marilyn Manson gear on again, i still "look the type" that would listen to him.

i tried going into a mosque and being completely ignorant ( and now i totally regret this ) i went in through the guy's entrance ( there is a seperate women's entrance [ i'm a chick ] ). i didnt do it arogantly and i apologized and stuff but i might have been a bit too "evil looking" ( i even refrained from eye make up, i just had black cargos and a baggy T- i didnt want to turn up in anything tight or revealing ). they were nice and showed me the lady's entrance but i could tell they were a bit wary of me. i was welcomed in there too, but..is it just what i wear or something else?

same thing happened outside a church, i was just walking past (it was after mass so some people were outside) and the way they looked at me i could swear they were about to pull out garlic and a cross.

what is wrong with me? is it the same reason God likes ignoring me? im trying to find something in my life to give me a little more reason for living yet everywhere i go, im still too "evil" because of my choice of clothes. well im not about to change that because i am NOT evil and as far as im concerned evil is internal and not something that can be expressed through baggy cargos?

please, someone tell me what i am doing wrong im really tired of the guesswork.