She is 100% diagnosed by quite a few medical professionals and refuses to take her meds on a regular basis because she doesn't like the way it makes her feel. She smokes marijuana and lives next door to me. She has a regular therapist for 20 years who just listens to her vent, she's been hospitalized voluntarily and involuntarily on and off for extended periods of time. She has no friends because she treats them horribly. She will not listen to anybody or accept support when offered. I do laugh at her when she starts with the threats because if I stood there, I'm afraid I would wring her neck inspite of her illness, so laughing and walking away helps me to calm down and remove myself from her. I try to keep the peace because my MIL is very elderly, lives next door and I basically am her caregiver. Her and I are incredibly close (she's more of a mom to me than my own mom (SIL moved in with her two years ago). I take care of her needs, take her to appointments, do shopping, household chores, dinner etc. It's kind of hard to avoid SIL.

Why are you allowing your SIL to use you as a verbal punching bag? I used to get really upset about certain things my husband did/said, now when he is being poopy to me I ignore it. I know confronting it will just start a fight. I grit my teeth and clench my fists often. You need to talk yourself out of the confrontation, it just is not worth it.

Also, this is so contradictory; "I usually end up laughing at her and walk away, but now she has so much hatred and animosity I don't know what to do for the greater good of the entire family. I've tried for years to keep the peace, play nice and be the diffuser (sic) of her wrath."

Which is it? Do you antagonize her or try to keep the peace? From what I can tell you are not keeping the peace or diffusing anything.

I am sorry she treats you that way though. Being bipolar is not an excuse. Does she live with you are something? I do not understand how she is such a problem for you that you cannot just avoid her antics.

Also IS your SIL bipolar or did YOU diagnose her? It really grinds my gears when people use my illness as a way to cut someone down.[/QUOTE]