Quote:
Originally Posted by debinpgh
My SIL is bipolar and when she is manic it's very stressing. She fixates on a topic and says and does things to inflame the situation. She'll just go on and on about a subject even though we've all told her "we get it". She then pulls out the mental illness guilt example: I'm mentally ill, but nobody cares, they only care about people who have this or that, etc...When I or we tell her "enough already, stop" she goes ballistic and starts threatening and saying how much she hates us and/or me, and accuses us of "yelling at her" and then she starts lashing out at everyone who tries to intervene, etc...etc...I am the one she turns her verbal anger on and although I know I shouldn't I do just really get her riled and dish the verbal lashing back in her direction until I've had enough. I usually end up laughing at her and walk away, but now she has so much hatred and animosity I don't know what to do for the greater good of the entire family. I've tried for years to keep the peace, play nice and be the diffuser of her wrath. I'm tired of being her so-called punching bag and I'm tired of the drama and anxiety she causes. What should I do?
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Thank you all for some great suggestions and possible solutions. I know laughing at her is not the right way to go, but taking my blood pressure, anger and anxiety into overload is the way I cope. Somebody asked if I diagnosed........No, she meets with a therapist (not a psychiatrist) to vent. She refuses to seek therapy and only commits to group therapy and one on one when forced to do so. She has voluntarily committed and has involuntarily been committed many times. She refuses to take her medication as prescribed because she doesn't like the way she feels or says she feels fine. I cannot avoid her because we live next door to each other. She moved back home with my MIL who is elderly and infirmed. I devote much attention to my MIL's needs. MIL depends on me for her appointments, house chores, personal errands, groceries, etc. My husband helps her out, but refuses to be there when his sister is there. Hence, why I cannot avoid her.
I've tried to offer solutions and suggestions to SIL when she is calm and rational. I have advised her that she should not smoke marijuana or drink, to no avail, I've assisted her with routine tasks such as insurance, bill paying etc. Since she has little to no friends because of her illness, I've treated her to fun outings and vacations, but I'm tired of being a doormat now.
I've slowly stopped enabling and permitting her to continue down the path she's on and noticed that now I'm the target of her aggression and anger. I've tried over and over to help her, but it's not wanted, but I cannot completely avoid her nor can I remove myself from the equation.
I will take these suggestions and look into the local support groups in my area. Maybe it will do us all good. Again, thank you all for your suggestions, answers and support. I believe I already knew the answers I was going to get, but needed some affirmation.