Hey,

first of all, you gotta remember that this is not by any means your fault. that is first and foremost.

i can hear the immense sadness in your post. i would recommend finding an Al-Anon group in your area, you can search for your local group via the al-anon website. they will certainly help you along in the right direction of finding help for your mom.

do you have any close relatives or mentors whom you can discuss this with? they might be of more immediate help as well...

please remember, stay strong, you have to remember to take care of yourself as well.
Melissa