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Originally Posted by Bill3
What are her stated reasons for disappearing?
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After I still didn't hear from her I called her again this morning and was able to get a hold of her. She claims she was upset because I wasn't there for her when she was recovering from that cancer screening. I asked her why she didn't just respond to my texts or calls but she claimed she didn't receive any of those calls (neither in whatsapp nor on her mobile).
I don't know what to think about this. When we talked on the phone that morning she was doing fine and with her friend (who's actually staying with her at the moment, so she isn't alone at all). The first disappearing she claimed she was sick at the hospital; the other two occasions it was trouble with her family (dad's new girlfriend moving in and causing trouble). She always seem to have some explanation and I am supposed to be understanding and accept. But thinking about it rationally I don't get it why any of it could hinder one from calling or texting, even if it's just a tiny update without needing to have a long conversation. On the other hand, if it's cheating, why would she need to go on disappearing mode for days for it? Even assuming she's with a guy for several days wouldn't it be possible to text?
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I hope that she's receptive to how this affects you and can display empathy.
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To be honest, I never really felt like that. She would apologize for letting me down again, but she's not displaying much effort to fix things. When she's disappearing I am the one trying again and again. When I go on silent mode because I am pissed about it, there is not much trying from her end, but I'll be the one coming back again. I am the desperate one in this relationship and it's bothering me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch
If you're in your 5th year of a LDR, I'd be considering making plans of either one of the two of you moving so you two can live close by each other. Otherwise I'd call it quits.
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We are having these plans but visa regulations make it difficult. I don't want to marry her yet, because we never really lived together for more than a few week, and the disappearing destroyed a lot of trust.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShadow
Book the flight. Have a face to face talk. And make the decision to go final.
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At this moment I am actually considering to breaking up again. I feel like an idiot she can kick around as she wished without any consequences. Wouldnt booking a flight and going to see her just be that again; me giving in and accepting her disappearing games again and even rewarding her with a visit?
I'm sad and exhausted.