Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Maybe your feeling for her are stronger than her feelings for you.
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That's exactly how I'm feeling sometimes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
She wants something in the LDR (the ability for her to go silent without notice) that you don't want.
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Is it really that? I don't know. She never stated that as reason or expectation when we talked about this issue. And wouldn't it have to happen more frequently if it's the case? I just don't know what her true reasons are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
If neither of these things ever becomes a dealbreaker, what you are implicitly saying is that you are in fact willing to accept the LDR, as it is right now, as the permanent nature of your relationship. Are you willing to accept that?
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I'm actually not willing to accept it, I'm giving her and our relationship a higher priority than myself and what I want. I know I'm the desperate part in this relationship, partly because (after returning from abroad) I didn't find much life left other than a busy job.
I brought up the topic of living together again when she was here this time. I definitely don't want to wait much longer; I'm 35 now and my time on earth is limited too.
And it's not like she doesn't want to move. She was actually taking GMAT classes a year ago for a student visa to study her masters here. She stopped it when I broke up because of her disappearing (see above). I'm also aware that I'm asking a lot because she would risk her own career with moving to a country where she won't be able to find a job in her field for many years just because of the language.
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The decision I'm facing now is whether I give in again like I always do or finally try to break up. I'm stuck again at that point. It's not that there's hard evidence that she was actually cheating or so; If it's true that she was just upset, breaking up would be overreacting. Taking into account that she should be aware of how I feel and respect what we agreed on, giving in would make me the desperate part again and teach her there are no consequences. It's a dilemma I'm always facing with her and makes me sick; I shouldn't feel like that in a healthy relationship. So I normally go on silent mode hoping there will be a reaction from her end, but there won't.