before:

lived with an abusive family

had a memory I could be proud of

had at least some Idea of how I wanted my life to go

every day held an element of excitement.. will anything good happen today?

I could sleep for more than a second

after:

no goals or motivation

housebound

can't sleep

too many helusinations and other issues

horribly stigmatised

lost all family support

not really any reason to get up, every day's the same