I'm sure adult diagnosis is probably a pretty common topic, but I've been stressing out for a while about getting it done and have some questions.

I worry because everyone seems to say it's extremely hard to find providers to do it and it's really expensive, meanwhile I've just been crossing my fingers that I'll magically find a regular psychologist or psychiatrist who can do it and don't know if I'm totally wrong.

I do have insurance through medicaid that will completely cover some psychologists and psychiatrists. This includes my current psychiatrist who is not great, and some others who seem likely pretty mediocre from what I've seen. I haven't looked much further into any other covered doctors for this sort of thing, but I'm guessing a regular psychologist or psychiatrist is the best I'll be able to do. I know some people are simply diagnosed by a psych, and some have to see other types of doctors. What does this usually depend on?Also, a kind of stupid question, what other kind of doctor would I look for under my insurance? A regular neurologist, or...?

Am I completely crazy to hope I'll be able to show up at a typical psych and have them be able to offer/plan/do testing? It just doesn't even feel optional to me at this point, I feel I need to figure this out and at least attempt to find out the complete truth or I'll go crazy. It's become almost a constant focus the past few months, and on my mind for months before that. It of course makes it worse that I'm an adult and female, but I'm still (probably irrationally) trying to be hopeful I can find a decent evaluation. I'm at about 90% and not quite certain enough to "declare" a self-diagnosis.

The other worry I have is how long the whole process usually takes. Waiting list time and all included, what's the typical time frame? I've heard of people who say it took them years, and that terrifies me.
I've read about people mentioning seeming "too neurotypical" during tests because of the ways they've learned to cope over the years and act neurotypical. Part of what made me start thinking about this whole thing was being in a spell when I was somewhat isolated last year and rarely required to go out much if I didn't want to. I've always realized it seems when things are like that, in a way I feel I act more naturally and am different somehow. When I'm working/otherwise required to face the public every day, I feel a lot more tense/uptight and like I'm trying hard to be normal (it's always felt like much more than just the "mask" most people wear in public or my social anxiety and fear of judgement, which was the only way I had to explain it before; assuming I am autistic, I've realized it's probably actually me constantly trying to act neurotypical). Once I'm in this "mode," it feels like it's impossible to relax and pry off the mask for even one minute... Basically what I'm saying is, right now while I'm unemployed again and have been pretty isolated might have been an ideal time to meet the doctor and start the testing. I've meant to try for months but have been in a bad depression, but am hopefully going to be well enough soon to start a job. It sounds silly to complain about that, but I feel the "better" I am the less of an accurate representation of any of my possible visible autistic traits the doc/whoever will see, and I don't know how to be open enough that they'll realize that. I also worry that over multiple visits my "symptoms"/whatever will vary, because they just do. Like, let's say during a session one day they're especially watching my face...some days I'm more expressive, some days I'm not as much. I guess I'm kinda just overthinking.

Can anyone share their experience with any of these things during diagnosis?
How many separate visits/tests did you have? What do they do during each visit?
Also, how should I prepare, and is there anything I should bring whenever I do get tested? I've started jotting down a few random things in a notebook to help me remember (especially relevant things that pop up from my childhood as I'm researching - I won't be able to think well on the spot and remember) and I may bring it? I've also been saving some articles I've considered printing out and bringing, maybe even highlighting the parts that really made me go, "wow, that's me!" including some "unofficial" ones about autism in women. Would this be a good idea? I'm not sure if the doc would be likely to listen and use them, or just brush them off or even be put off and accuse me of self diagnosing.


As an aside, I have another question I've been wanting to ask opinions on, and thought I'd just ask here rather than making a 2nd topic.
My brother has definite diagnosed Asperger's, diagnosed a few years ago, so it is in my family. While exploring this whole possibility of being autistic myself, I've realized it also seems very very likely that my sister could be autistic as well. She's never brought up the possibility that I know of, and if I had to guess I don't think she's ever seriously considered it.
We're somewhat close, but I can't really guess 100% whether she'd want to know and whether it'd be best to bring it up to her or not. I can see the positive parts of bringing it up - just the increased self understanding and explanation for things in life (which is huge), the possibility that some of her other issues (chronic pain, dietary/stomach issues, mental illness) that can be commonly related to autism could have some link and that knowledge could in any way help better understand/treat them, other things.
But I see the negative, too. She, of course, might take it negatively or even as an insult, I don't know. There's also always the possibility that she'd be more hurt than helped by knowing...maybe it'd just bother her. I've already had a lot of turmoil and depression since "finding out" myself,
(although generally and in the long run I think I prefer to know) if I'm being completely honest, and that's just so far. Assuming she is autistic she'd be "high functioning"/"mild" (sorry to use functioning labels) to the point that she could go the rest of her life without knowing, and I don't know if that's best or not.

Especially to those who weren't aware or diagnosed until adulthood, are you glad you know? If you had the choice, are there any of you who would rather have just not known?


Sorry this is so long. To anyone who reads and/or replies, thanks in advance!