Freewill, my friend, I think God sees you as his much beloved child.. It seems to me that the terrible things that happened that caused the mirror of your mind to shatter would just make God love all of you that much more fiercely. Children are precious to Him and He has to hurt to know what happened to you as a child. He would never "hold you accountable" for what your mind had to do to continue to allow your body and soul to exist. He has to be celebrating that you found a way to survive - even as He continues to grieve over your pain. Our soul has to be the sum of all of our parts and your soul, Freewill, is the loving, innocent, compassionate soul of a child.