You need to examine your logic, DadFMF, even though it is so true that there is nothing so liable to dissolve logic in a man than being left by a wife he still wants. It's a situation that has landed men on death row. I don't suggest you're headed that way. But don't let this become a game of who gets to have the last word. Who cares? That's unimportant.

So - logically - let's examine: You don't want "to give up everything." Okay, of course not. But how can you not give up something that she's already taken away? You see . . . your logic is a bit shakey there.

Next: Your second concern, in the last post, is over what she will get to say. Yes, I understand that you want it clear that it is she, and not you, who is walking out on the marriage. Dude, she went and got herself a different apartment, the door to which you can't open, as you have no key. It's pretty clear who left who. (You didn't lock her out of anywhere.)

Finally: The "test" angle. So let's say you tough it out for another 6 months, and she says, "Okay, you passed the test . . . I'll take you back." Seriously? You'ld go back to her? Not that I don't believe in reconciliation and forgiveness. They're great, when they're genuine. Let's say you could put this whole nightnare in the past . . . and you probably could. Are you willing to live in an "open marriage?" Because that's what it would be. Her terms for taking you back would be that she comes and goes as she pleases, with whom she pleases. Yeah, she might take you back, so you could be there watching the kids, whenever she wants to duck out - on the town. That's the real test - what you'll tolerate. She's breaking you down to see just how thoroughly you can be broke. Being unfaithful was not a single, isolated indescretion on her part. That's her new lifestyle. She's not giving it up - not for you. She has been man shopping. I've seen this pattern before. I have seen a marriage survive infidelity. But not the pattern she has adopted.

Don't depend on her priorities being what she claims they are. There's one she hasn't mentioned. She has prioritized being out there in circulation. She's exhilarated at being hit on. She knows you want her. That's old to her. When she goes to a bar, the ring comes off and she signals she's available.

There's something wrong with this gal. I think her mother recognizes that and fearfully wants to keep you around, hoping things will go back to how they once were.

You don't have to do anything right now. Take all the time you want. Just do try to think with clarity and realistically.