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Originally Posted by AmandaBroken
I can not say I did not see this coming. The church I go to is very conservative. Members at one time would only allow or prefer, the men to be in suits and the women in dresses. Now things are different, men wear jeans and women pants. Although some women wear yoga pants and leggings, or tights. Some women cover up their butts by wearing long shirts, some do not. Sometimes I find myself looking at them more than I should.
When my parents were alive I always wore dresses, but after they passed away I started to wear skinny jeans, tights, short shorts, tank tops with no bra, and lots of piercings, makeup, and other stuff.
I then started to date a girl from church. First, it was kissing and holding hands but it quickly moved to heavy petting. We tried to keep it a secret but we were eventually caught.
The staff at the church were always telling me this was wrong but I never listened. The followed the biblical form of discipline, first, they tried to counsel me. Then they tried having me meet with 2 or 3 elders. After a while, they made an announcement in the church that I was no longer a member but I could attend if I would tone down my clothes. But I just could not do this. I liked my clothes, I was constantly buying new clothes, hot stuff and was always visiting the store "Hot Topics."
Well, they have taken the final step. They sent an email stating I was excommunicated. That I was no longer welcomed in the church. They also instructed people from the church to shun me in the hopes this would drive me to repentance. I'm kinda in shock. Not sure what to do, besides cutting. Sadly I must say I have done that. (But I have been S.I. free for 3 weeks and one day now.) It's easy to say go someplace else, but where. I was born into this church it has been a part of my life now for just over 21 years.
Saying I'm heart broken just doesn't say enough.
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Wow, that truly sucks. There are churches with majority gay members. What you do in the bedroom should have nothing to do with your respect and love for the higher power of your choice. With that being said I doubt the church is ever going to change. Might be better to find another church. Even if you were allowed to come back you would be watched and judged by others. Not a healthy religious atmosphere, imho. Leaving that church may be hard but life is about moving forward and accepting the changes that come with that. We are always changing. Just like you changed after the death of your parents, which I'm sorry to hear. But leaving this church is like escaping that toxic relationship, it's will be hard, it's what you need to do, and you will get through it. Grab your support people and get them involved in the plan. Reach out to them when you feel weak or defeated.
I do hope you have found some resolution to this and know that you can love who you want and still worship a higher power. Best wishes.