You are right T, I do struggle with my mental state on these shifts. I don't think I had noticed that before. I know I agreed with you but maybe that was because I actually liked you giving me your 'opinion', or is it not an opinion, but an observation. Either way, I liked it, and I agreed with it. Maybe I did realise it was true, deep down. Maybe, though, it isn't true, and it has become true because of what you said. Oh round and round we go again. Not important. Not worth analysing.

Important thing is, yes, I am tired. No, I am not getting the rest that I need. Yes, I am doing too much. But I still think I should be able to manage this. I don't want to feel like I am wasting valuable time, but I know that I just need to give myself a break and take the rest that I need.

With that, I am going to go to bed to get another couple hours sleep, because I need it.

I want to email you. I want you to talk to me. I want to hear your words. I love you T, and I wish I could have more of you. I am going to rake bear and give him a great bug massive cuddle and imagine, again, that it is you giving me a comforting cuddle as I drift off to sleep.

Oh, and PS, I did sign up for that new group. I go on Friday after I have seen you. Now or never, I suppose. I will be nervous. Very nervous. I am not good at it, so it will be scary going there, but there is only one way to learn how to do something, to get good at something, and that is to give it a go and keep practising.

I miss you. I hope you are having a nice day, but I hope that I cross your mind from time to time.