[quote=NEGuyfromBritain;5617289]Ever since my last relationship where I caught my girlfriend messaging 10 other guys behind my back I've found it really hard to smile. I know that probably sounds weird but I've done Yoga and meditation and to a certain degree I feel probably 80% at peace. The other 20% is the niggling heartbreak that just won't leave me alone and sometimes manifests as nightmares and panic attacks through the night.

Anyway generally I feel like my mind is peaceful enough not to think about what she done and the past but every time someone smiles at me I feel like I'm really making physical effort to try and smile back, it feels foreign. It almost feels like I'm fighting myself to do it and I can't understand why. In past if someone smiled at me it would be infectious and I would smile back, now I feel like I consciously have to force one out of politeness so I don't look rude or get concerned questions.

Although your words say you are mostly content your behaviors speak the truth. I believe you have more than a niggling heartbreak. It sounds like that relationship is in the past but your continue to suffer. Have you considered a few counseling sessions? Talking about this to a professional might help. Good luck. You need to resolve a few issues in order to bring your smile back full on. PS I smile naturally. When I am not smiling it is probably because I am going through a rough patch. I have never smiled while meditating as that would feel quite unnatural.