You are probably reenacting a childhood trauma/emotion and don't even recognize it. See Wolfgaze's posting #21 at https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...o-cruel-3.html Wolfgaze says (rephrasing from memory/inexact quote) "look for a pattern from childhood that replays when you are an adult."
After I thought about this today--it made some of my anxious behavior in the past make so much sense. I encourage you to read that posting. With time and self reflection (therapy?), you can learn to at least moderate some of your reactions......