Sarahas, hello. I think you're doing very well taking the approach you're on -- therapist et al. Very smart!

Confession time: I was one of those girls who gravitated to "bad boys" -- and they to me. I'm talking, they would swarm me. lol (I was a challenge, supposedly ). It took me decades -- and a very young, very short marriage to one of the aforesaid Dangerous Dudes -- to figure a couple things out.

1. It ain't about you/me. EVER. It's about HIM: his needs/ wants/ moods. You exist to fall in with those. Whatever they are at that second. He's not feeling outgoing? Bye. He's high as hades & feeling delighted with himself? Oh come here you gorgeous thing!
2. I'm a born "FIXER". He needed "FIXED". His idea of what the fix was, was.....way different from mine!
3. See #1. Insert crying, pummelling, rehab x idk/idc how many. Insert one newborn. Insert me gtfo.
4. Please spare yourself 1 thru 3. Ain't a relationship on Earth worth it.

All the best to you. Please be good to yourself.

Hugs,

Chyia