I find both to be true, at various times. Caring for others gives me a sense of purpose, makes me feel better about life in general. But caring for myself in the same way seems... somehow undeserved. I don't know why exactly, maybe it's past mistreatment that tells me "you're not worthy of love". Something to work on, I suppose. While I'm saddened that other people do this too, I am ever so slightly grateful that I'm not alone on this.