so I was sexually assualted on April 7th, 2017 and did do a forensic exam.

Well yesterday I got the news the police investigation was closed and that there would be no charges laid in this crime. The police said that my testimony wasn't viable, meaning it was not strong enough to stand up in trial. The police asked why my verison was different from before statement and apparently he said I said it was from "flashbacks"...Which my "flashbacks" have never once never not been the truth which is sad and pathetic to say the least. And this monster in poems and in my nightmares/terrors, never ceases, even when I tell him "no" or "enough"!

ITs horrible I feel like a piece of garbage I set up an intake for counselling @ a local place for domestic abuse/violence against woman center in town, for next week. I am in a safe house right now I feel like crap-o-la.....

I got sexually assaulted in 2013 and there was a police investigation and basically i was told there was nothing they could do it was my word against his. Which was completely a different guy, but history keeps repeating itself it feels like.

Before I was sexually assualted in 2003 and the guy put a drug in my drink. I consented to a massage not sex. I did do a rape kit but police were not involved because the mental health therapist said that my story would never hold up in court. "Because we both drinking at the time..."

I am sober for more then 21months and 21 days, but all I feel like doing is blowing my money my grocery, and going out getting loaded.

This is a big blow to myself as a core....please someone help me...or say something to take away all this hurt, and disbelief!