I wish there was something that would take away your pain. The only thing I can think of that might help is to remind you that you aren't alone (I say "remind" because I'm sure you already know that). It doesn't necessarily make it easier, but know that there are other people who can have some idea of what you're experiencing. My situation is very different from yours and I can't imagine feeling what you are feeling. I hope you can find some support here.
Congratulations on your sobriety. You must be a strong person to be able to stay sober each and every day.