*TRIGGER WARNING*

I would like to tell you I am doing well. That I am happy and hopeful. That I am looking forward to the wedding and my trip to Germany and England. I want to say I feel loved and wanted and accepted. That I want to continue this life but the truth is vastly different.

I am overwhelmed, I carry a burden others can not carry. I seek an end to the struggle. A peace that eludes me. A solitude that evades me. A hope that lasts. A life free from the desire to cut. The eternal sleep.

But all this still eludes me. I still live.