I have gotten myself in a tough situation and feeling very confused and at times hopeless. First, I have been with my husband for 7 years and together we have a 5 year old son. My husband and I have known each other since I was 8 and I am 30 now. He tends to have control issues and when he's mad, he can get verbally abusive. I have bipolar disorder and for the most part he is supportive but at times becomes frustrated with me and gets mean. We both have anger issues and sometimes get into physical altercations. He does work hard to provide for our family and usually my son and I are never without what we need. My father in law also lives with us. He has a drinking problem and be very obnoxious at times. While I was working at my previous job, a job I fell in love with, something unexpected happened. I met someone else. It wasn't planned, it just happened. I had an affair and my husband found out. He made my get fired from my job saying I had to choose between my job or our family. I understand he was hurt and I am guilty for my actions. It was a friendship that blossomed into something more. I feel bad for what I have done but at the same time I feel very confused because I fell in love with thus other guy. I have not been happy in my marriage for obvious reasons. This other guy makes me happy in ways I haven't been in years. I do not know what to do because I still do love my husband, he has been there through a lot of rough times. I just no longer in love with him. Our relationship can be volatile and I don't want our son to grow up thinking violence is okay. I want to be happy. Who doesn't? I also don't want to break up my family, I am afraid for my son. I am also afraid that if I do leave, my husband will do everything he can to gain custody of our son. Even though I was a SAHM for the first 3 years of my sons life. Took him to every doctors appointment and have been His primary caregiver since birth. My husband has to have control and will lash out . He is very manipulative and I do not trust him. I want to be happy but scared to take the steps to be happy. Although I do not get to see the other guy since leaving my job last November, we do talk and are very much in love. Our relationship began as a friendship and became serious about a year after I started my last job. I know cheating is wrong and again it was never in my thoughts to do so. Please do not judge me too harshly. My mom is on my side and supportive in leaving my husband and do is my therapist. I just need more support as to what to do with the mess I have gotten myself into. Part of me wants to just go back to normal and stay with my husband regardless of how unhappy and controlled I feel. Then I feel like I want to leave, be on my own until the divorce is finalized and go with the other guy after enough time has gone by for my son to adjust to the changes. I feel so hopelessly stuck and confused.