Reflecting on an earlier thread I posted, I wanted to share some thoughts I've had the past few days. I've caught myself comparing/judging myself with someone else, a neighbor. Normally this would start a negative train of thoughts about what I am not doing. I am not working, I am not keeping my house clean enough, I am not dieting and exercising to get my weight down, I am not getting out and living a normal life, etc., etc... but, in catching myself, I told myself to not compare, but rather think about what I am doing.
1. I am not working, but I am managing the money my husband earns, I pay the monthly bills, and I budget what we need for food, etc.
I may not get up each day to go to work, but I'm up at 5:30 to get my husband off to his job.
2. My house is not spotless, far from it, but dishes are washed after every meal, laundry done and put away every Sunday, and toilets are scrubbed weekly. Anything else is done on days with more motivation, focus and energy.
3. I don't diet and exercise like I should and I am overweight, significantly so. I know this affects my energy and strength levels. I will have to address this, but in small, incremental steps. For now, I will focus on the daily walk I am taking with my dog, that I am finally getting good sleep, and I am taking my meds and going to my appt.s.
Finally, I am living MY life in the ways that I am able to right now. I am not going to qualify it, judge it, or compare it to anyone else's. I wake up each new day, and I choose to live my life as it is, rather than ending it because it doesn't meet self-imposed standards. Even if I truly am "failing" on every front, I know that my husband and children would rather have me as I am, than not. Who knows how things will be 6 mo., a year from now. I only have to live it a day at a time.