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My husband did not have a lawyer when they got devorced. He got stuck with 35,000$ dollars in credit card dept, loss of all his stuff exceprt the cloths on his back. She even got the stuff he had from his childhood. She got the house as well. On top of all this he has to was ordered to pay spousel support for seven years. The support was to cover the morgage payments.

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'Hell hath no fury..."

Uh, now where did all this stupidity arise from - oh yes - your husband - for not engaging a lawyer in the first place, as she had done!

And in this day and age where money rules and selfishness is the norm, do you really expect her to give up what amounts to "free money" now?

You should have seen my b/f's ex-wife freak as his girls began reaching legal age and all that cash was slipping away from her. She tried using his credit history to shore up her bad credit; she has tried getting updated info on his pensions (for what?? She had given up all rights to those earnings during the divorce!) Her excuse? She needed the info for a mortgage - BULL! She has even resorted to getting one daughter involved in trying to get him to pay for more than his share of the "extras" that come up by asking her to keep $$ figures a secret.

I know you are angry, but did it not occur to you that his history (of having another family) would always be, in some ways, a financial drain on him for many, many, MANY years to come??

Even my b/f keeps thinking that once all his girls have reached legal age, he will be free and clear from financial obligations. NOT SO! They are, after all, his kids. He is not about to deny them help or gifts from this point on. (Already one daughter left him holding an $8G bag when she blew him off after paying only one payment on the car he bought her, then trashed it).

Oh, and we haven't even began discussing the real possibility of grandkids coming soon, which may come without support of a husband or boyfriend of their own.

(BTW, his loss of property, etc. about equals what your husband's loss was.)

Ex-spouses never really go away...

I do feel for you, though, and especially for your child, who is really the one who loses here.