you are not a freak. it looks as if you are well on your way to the healing process. i'm sorry your old T hurt you and you are having problems dealing with that. i'm sure it must be hard... it's good your new T realized his mistake and supports you now. it must be hard to trust your new T while still dealing with feelings from your old... but he seems committed to helping you get through this. you will learn to trust in time. therapy is hard, trust me i know, but its healthy. and in the end you will come out much happier. good luck with everything.