I did this too.

I started practicing opposite actions...

I put my bf through hell, broke up with him every 4 months for 3 years...
Last time he cane back he made it clear it was a deal breaker, I push, he takes me seriously and goes. Forever

Soo I got a journal, everytime I felt the urge to push it pick fights, I'd do it to the journal...

Haven't written in there in over a year now.

I'm sorry, I know how bad it sucks