Quote:
Originally Posted by leejosepho
My two daughters have not shunned me, but we do have very little communication. I think it would be great for estranged parents to talk about these kinds of things and help each other continue on in life, but not if the talk is dominated by moaning, groaning or complaint...and I am not saying that is what you are doing! My own estrangement is a result of my own failure as a father in spite of my best efforts and not because of anything about my daughters. You made better efforts than I had made, but even the very best efforts do not guarantee the desired outcome. So, and with no fingers ever being pointed in any direction, how do we accept things as they are today and live in contentment in spite of any missing elements?
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I don't know. I go from being philosophical about it, to numb to not caring, to doing little ceremonies of cutting the cord from my heart to his, to detach, to develop my own self, not to be bothered, to being bothered about it. Simply because deep down I feel it's not right.
He's also vacillated in this - going from no contact to contact, to little to again non. And all I've done over the years is go along with it all. Yes, huge mistakes were made on my part. I'd been an isolater my entire life with him and maybe crossed a few boundaries too many while raising hm. I was conscious all the time I was - but there would be slip ups of anger. I was also living a hard life of poverty as a single mother with him and that also added to the mix.
He judged me harshly for this. But in spite, yes he did do well, and did it on his own with the help of his higher power and wife. It's not perfect and there are a few scars he's got that are remainders - namely he's got ADHD and for this he's taking Adderall - just to keep functioning as a business person, father and family man. So there's been damage. Pretty sure the domestic violence I'd incurred from his father while pregnant with him left its marks. There was a lot of brutality going on before he was even born.