Yes I agree Trace. I do think the solution is experiencing those feelings. But it is fairly terrifying for me to feel those things. I remember a couple of years ago, finding it so difficult to function because of my feelings and a brain that didn't feel like my own, was always dissociating. So now life feels easier, not feeling.

But my T has said unless we deal with those things, they will lay dormant, then raise their head again and trip me up. I'm just not sure I know how to feel. I don't know if I am numb, or chilled out, to the extent that issues don't effect me anymore.

Experiences I have had, were traumatic for me and I felt a lot at those times, too much. Can it be the case that when you have experienced those things, that everyday life things seem trivial in comparisson? Like the capacity to tolerate everyday events increases as maybe in the grand scheme of things, they don't feel important.

Sorry if this has turned into a ramble, not sure if I know what I mean.