I wish you luck in whatever you decide. I think being bipolar and med free is possible with lots of safety measures in place and zero stress. Speaking for myself, all going med free accomplished for me was going from one crisis to the next. I have lots of stress I can not eliminate though.....without the stess I might be able to consider a med free solution as I used to do ok without meds. I'm shooting for more than just ok now though and holding meds can help make that happen. No matter what you decide, make sure to have safety measures in place. I'm deeply sorry with the side effects you are experiencing....they do not sound acceptable to me and a change of some sort is in order. (((Hugs)))