*TRIGGER WARNING*
*Graphic Description of a car accident*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylin
Amanda,I am sorry to hear about your trauma and your bereavements.
I had no idea you were suffering so.
Would it help to talk about the content of your nightmares? Nightmares are very scary and interrupted sleep and anxiety make it very hard mentally and physically on the body.
I want to help if I can, I want you to know I am here for you.You can PM me if you want to anytime.
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*TRIGGER WARNING*
*Graphic Description of a car accident*
Thanks, Marylin...
My nightmare is always the same. I am in the car with my mom and dad as we were driving back to the hotel. My dad and I are singing silly songs. We always sang silly songs. They were our songs. Mom would roll her eyes everytime we started to sing.
Next, there is a loud bang, I feel myself being pushed forward into the back of mom's seat and then back again. There is more noise and I don't have any knowledge of the time. Then everything went silent. My mom turns to me with blood dripping from her head and says "Are you okay Amanda, and then silence. Dad turns and says to me and first asked me how I was and then "I love you, Amanda," and then silence. He is also covered with blood, a lot of blood.
I'm not sure how long it is but I remember screaming and hearing sirens. After that, I don't remember much. I remember being in a hospital and my sister sitting next to me. The next memory is being at home and going through the process of a funeral. I just remember lots of family and friends being there. After the funeral, it is a Jewish tradition to throw the dirt back into the grave I remember participating in that.
After that, I am told I collapsed and was in some sort of coma. I was told I was in this state for 2 months. My sister being a registered nurse had me transported home and set me up in the downstairs Master bedroom. Amy took a leave of absence from her job and was with me when I woke up. Amy said the first words I spoke was "Dad, are you okay." I was told that I had physical damage to my brain not caused by the physical part of the accident but due to emotional stress from the accident.
After this, I changed. I started to dress differently. My behavior changed. I was no longer "Daddy's Little Girl." I dressed sort of like a Goth girl. I started acting out. Having anxiety attacks. I then read something about cutting and one day in a fit of anger I cut. My first cut was very bad and I was in the hospital for 2 or 3 weeks. I was then sent home.
All I can say after that is I changed. I was cutting all the time. I also started to dress very "sexy." Tight clothes, see through clothes and then going around the house "naked," Which I still do. I hate clothing.
The next thing everyone noticed was I become a "savant." I always did great in school but now I excel.
Anything else you want me to share? Please ask...